Nov 16 2005

Wrong Spaceship

Category: The Transcendental CowboyRandall Kelley @ 22:08

He noticed the bus was a lot stranger this morning.
Derelicts strolling the aisle, staring at each passenger,
looking for the fear or disdain. Hoping to take a seat
and make someone uncomfortable at the same time.

Each stop brought more and more of a similar lot.
Pacers, Droolers, Mumblers… Chuggers, and Heavy Breathers…
and of course, Moaners… an infamous lot. And finally
there was the man walking his wheelchair full of what
anyone else would call garbage, smiling like a Prom Queen
on a float, reveling in the attention of all those within range
of his curious aroma.

When The Transcendental Cowboy arrived at his stop and
arose to depart, he mumbled (just like one of bunch),
“Must’ve boarded the wrong spaceship today.”


Nov 15 2005

The not so young and restless.

Category: The Transcendental CowboyRandall Kelley @ 23:06

“I’ve never been young but I’m always restless.”

The Yogi at the Mayo said he could stop his heart, and sure enough the sound of silence boomed through the stethoscope.

But they found that his heart was really racing. Racing so fast, in fact, that the blood stopped and the pulse with it.

That is how the Transcendental Cowboy relaxes when he
gets restless. He just focuses on so much at once that it all disappears right before his mind.

“I’ve never been young but I’m always restless.”


Nov 10 2005

What the heck….

Category: The Transcendental CowboyRandall Kelley @ 22:31

“How did I get here?”



Nov 08 2005

Is the Devil REAL?

Category: The Transcendental CowboyRandall Kelley @ 19:54

A nice little old lady takes the seat next to the Transcendental
Cowboy on the bus. She proceeds to rummage through her
bag and produces a bound and covered copy of “the Watchtower”.

With something inaudible mumbled under her breath, she
gestures to offer him a copy. He looks closely at the cover
with a headline that asks, “Is the Devil Real?”

Politely declining her offer, the Transcendental Cowboy
can’t help but chuckle a bit as he thinks,
“Is the Devil REAL? Hell, I know his address!”


Nov 05 2005

Wind In My Hair

Category: The Transcendental CowboyRandall Kelley @ 21:07

He’s got his hairs
right where he wants them
and that’s good
cause right then she looked.

He put his eyes
back where he needs them.
Yeah, they roam
when they get hooked.

He found his lips on his face
and he licked them
He found her smile
as she forgave him.

(She felt her tits bounce
and she couldn’t blame him.)
And then he walked
away with the thought,

“It was a brief affair
between the wind in my hair,
her tight, thin blouse,
and the captured stare.”


Nov 01 2005

Bull Riding

Category: The Transcendental CowboyRandall Kelley @ 22:07

He spotted Bud at the urinal, Bull Riding his Penis. standing bow legged and stooped, with his hands firmly in his crotch, looking down at his dick with the same intent stare of the Bull Rider, wrapping his gloved hand tightly in the rope.

“Ride that Penis, Bud!”

Will he make it Eight Seconds once the gate swings open?

“Ride that Penis, Bud!”


Oct 26 2005

The Number Two Thousand

Category: The Transcendental CowboyRandall Kelley @ 14:07

The Transcendental Cowboy, as a student (and frequent victim) of history, makes note of the number two thousand. Bannered across the reflection in the window in reverse, the backwardness of the text no relief for the sadness it evokes.

He thinks to himself, “Just a drop in the bucket, and that’s the sad thing, as seldom do they count ‘theirs’ with ‘our’ when they tally up the numbers. And the way they try to put it out there, as if they were some mere statistic, instead of a small multiplier of the factor of grief.”

As he continues to walk, contemplating the fact that his own wounds are only emotional, it does no good. For a little bit of rage starts to crawl up his back, and when it reaches his face and he feels the tips of his ears go red, the Transcendental Cowboy finds he has to speak out loud, “History be damned… it’s still wrong!”


Oct 21 2005

Not Her Type

Category: The Transcendental CowboyRandall Kelley @ 14:08

She’s got her cowboy boots and a short haircut… she’s tryin’ to curb the way that she walks. Probably not her intention to draw the attention of the Cowboy, much less make him gawk. But there are some of female gender who never surrender that inner female beauty to the bent of their sexual preference.

And the Transcendental Cowboy states, “Down boy! You are not her type.”


Oct 19 2005

Computer Program

Category: The Transcendental CowboyRandall Kelley @ 11:53

While they always tell you about the horns of a dilemma, they never really prepare you for the complete pain in the ass that it is going to be. The Transcendental Cowboy mutters under his breath, “What I need is a really good computer program. Ones and zeros, yes or no. A certain answer at my fingertips.”

And so, feeling gored indeed by the opposition of various perfectly good options, he does what any good decision maker would do. He reaches in his pocket for a nice shiny quarter, flips it in the air, and awaits the “correct” answer from the worlds oldest computer program… LUCK.


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